Friday, September 9, 2011

How to convince your husband to buy you a car without really trying

Congratulations, you are a city mom of at least two children! You have multiple strollers (at least as many strollers as children, but maybe more), and you're ready to go to the next level. Here's what you need to know.

First, your husband will never see the sense in buying you a car as long as you are taking the bus or walking to Costco, then shlepping everything home on the subway. All shlepping must now take place via cab or rental car/zipcar.

Second, make a list of everywhere you want to go within 5 hours of New York City. Then, go there. Simple enough, right? But what about that little voice? The little voice that insists, "It doesn't make sense to rent a car for two days over Labor Day weekend to go "hiking" in the Palisades Interstate Park (which is accessible by public transportation after all) and then to Montauk (which is technically also accessible by public transportation) just because you want to."

Ignore that voice. That voice is your enemy. Here's the thing. Now that you have multiple children, "accessible by public transportation" ("ABPT") is code for "you will never go here." Let me explain. Every time you plan a trip to an ABPT destination, you will feel guilty when you see how much the rental car costs. So, you will cancel the car, telling yourself, "We can just take public transportation." As the day approaches, you will realize two things: 1. Public transportation is not always cheap, monetarily speaking. 2. Actually, public transportation carries an extremely high price tag if you consider the time and parental energy required. As realization of these two facts dawns on you for the umpteenth time, you will yet again cancel your trip completely. Now is the time to break this cycle!







Third, when it rains ALL. DAY. LONG. on the day you planned to go to Montauk, make sure your husband knows how silly it is that you will now have to go to a beach destination in the pouring rain or waste the car (since you have to cancel zipcar 24 hours in advance of the reservation's start time). Then, go to Philadelphia instead. Make sure to spend more money in Philadelphia than you would have spent in Montauk. Reserve zipcar on a different day for your Montauk trip.

As an aside, if you go to Philadelphia in the pouring rain, it is nice to take a friend, especially if visibility on the way back is so bad you're going about 45 mph the entire way only to wait for 45 minutes at the Lincoln Tunnel. Also, you might want to check traffic before you commit to the Lincoln Tunnel over the GWB.

Fourth, and this is critical, let your husband share the joy of rental cars with children. Or more accurately, let him share the joy of carrying two car seats down to the car while also herding a 15 month old and a three year old. Put particular emphasis on the buzzer you will have to ring, the two doors you will have to open and shut, and the long walk, weaving through cars, from the door of the garage to the place where you actually pick up the car. Let him enjoy the experience of keeping said children and their car seats out of all the other cars' paths while waiting for your car to arrive. Watch from afar as he tries to wrestle two car seats into an unfamiliar car in which someone has always managed to hide half the seat belt parts while still corralling that 15 month old.

When you return from your trip, act like you do already have your own car. Unload your children, their stuff, and any relevant purchases, but leave the car seats behind. When he gets home say, "Honey, I couldn't get the car seats up with everything else. They're so heavy. Would you please go down and get them before you go into the office tomorrow?" Look weak and doe eyed. When he decides to leave the car seats overnight, wait until he's already a few minutes late for work the next morning before reminding him that he still needs to get the car seats.

Fifth, if it is raining, say, "Oh wow, it's really coming down out there! And it's always impossible to catch a cab in midtown in the rain. Too bad we don't have a car. I could drive you."

Note: Try to avoid bringing the car into any conversation in which you are angry or upset. For example, if your husband has to work on a holiday weekend, do NOT say something like, "One of these days, you will come home and I will have bought a car. Because if you're working this hard to put us ahead financially, and what I want is a car, then I should get to have a car." Acting childish will only hurt your cause.

I hope these tips have provided a helpful start to you in your quest to convince your husband to buy you a car. We'll let you know how it goes on our end.

Also, this is neither here nor there, but if you live within day-trip distance of Philadelphia, do your kids a favor and check out the Please Touch Museum. It was amazing.

















We give it our highest rating: "Worth missing nap time for"

2 comments:

Julia said...

I'm sold! The Please Touch Museum really was awesome. Think how much more often you'll be able to go once John gets you a car!

CValentine said...

Two things. That looks a lot like our Magic House. So neat. Second, I'm a little surprised you've seen that movie.