Happy Halloween

From Rapunzel and Pascal

And from John and Evelyn, I guess

I don't really think we deserve any points for creativity; Tangled's Rapunzel was obviously a popular costume this year,

but I have to admit I am particularly proud of the frying pan and the tail.

Try to ignore the fact that it is SNOWING in these pictures. In OCTOBER. Sigh.

Intelligence

This morning, I spent more time than I should have trying to register my four-year-old for a variety of intelligence tests. I am rolling my eyes as I write this, just so you know. I wanted to submit the request for testing online so I would also be able to review results, complete further paperwork (if any), etc, online. The system had a glitch and wasn't correctly populating the test location, date, and time fields. I ended up emailing two friends to see if they'd had the same problem, then finally calling the DOE.

If it were up to me alone, I'd skip this city kid rite of passage. John felt differently. When John was in college, he spent his summers selling books and educational materials for the Southwestern Company. This job taught him many skills that have come in handy in the intervening years. It also gave him a firm conviction that (1) most people think their children are above average, and (2) most children are not above average. So, when I tell you that John felt strongly about having Evelyn tested, know that I'm pretty sure the reason he feels this way is because he thinks I have a too-high opinion of her intelligence, and he wants to prove to me that she is not, in fact, in the 99th percentile.

Then, a parent of one of Evelyn's friends started talking about how it's smart to have them tested just in case, what with all the press about kids not getting into kindergarten at their zoned schools. Maybe you get unlucky and your kid doesn't get into your local elementary school, but then you also get lucky, your kid aces the test, and you have another option. I started feeling mom guilt because what does it say about me if I don't want my kid to have a shot at options. Although I must not feel that guilty since I do not plan on hiring a tutor or buying black market OLSAT practice tests.

When I was a kid, IQ testing was in its heyday. I remember taking my first IQ test in kindergarten, followed by at least one per move in the years between first and eighth grades. Current study will tell you, however, that high IQ really isn't linked with later success in life. In the majority of cases, it isn't even linked with later success in school. In fact, what matters more than IQ is whether a child can sit alone in a room with a marshmallow for ten or twenty minutes without eating it.

At the end of the day, intelligence tests for four-year-olds are notoriously unreliable, you pay a substantial fee to have your child tested, and if Evelyn doesn't get into her zoned school, I plan to just camp out front while pregnant and beg for mercy until they let her in. Which wouldn't be as bad as it sounds since the school is across the street from our apartment. Plus, if the smartest kid I know in the class above Evelyn didn't test into gifted and talented, I'm thinking her chances are slim.

So, this morning, I was waiting on hold (which I hate!), trying to find a way to make a city-run website work correctly so that I can pay for my daughter to take a meaningless test I don't even really want her to take, and all of a sudden, it hit me. Someone's intelligence is being tested here all right. It's just not my daughter's.

Luckily for Evelyn, even if the tests show she's not the smartest kid in the city, she's still the most beautiful child east of the Hudson. Right?

A word of advice

To all the mothers out there:

If you are going to have accident-prone children, it is a good idea to reserve a spot in your speed dial queue for a nice plastic surgeon who will come into the office on the evening of a holiday just to stitch up your son.

It is especially a good idea if his office is staffed with three nurses to help hold your 16-month-old still while the doctor puts needles in his eyebrow.

And if, in the past month or so, you have been harassed and perhaps even verbally abused by an x-ray technician, you will appreciate the fact that none of those nurses nor the doctor act like you are a bad parent because it takes four people to restrain your child during the procedure.

To my children:

If you must cut yourselves such that you require stitches, in the future, it would be preferable to try to avoid the general vicinity of your faces.

Much love,

Emma/Mommy

What we've been up to

Why, you ask, have I not been blogging? Well, in the past 2+ months, we've had

-5 calls to the pediatrician
-3 visits to the pediatrician
-1 ER visit
-1 urgent care visit
-1 visit to the plastic surgeon, and
-5 physical therapy appointments.

And thanks to our high-deductible health plan, we get to pay for all of it out of pocket. God bless America indeed. (Although I am fairly certain we have spent less than our taxes would/will increase with government-provided universal health care.)

I think my pediatrician thinks (a) I am crazy, (b) I never watch my children and/or (c) all of the above. After all, nothing inspires confidence in one's parenting skills like calling the pediatrician for the third time in a month and saying, "I think my preschooler just broke my toddler's nose with a pair of binoculars."

On our off days, we have managed to squeeze in a little fun.

We drove out to New Jersey to celebrate Poppa's birthday since he just happened to be in town (or 90 minutes away from in town). Two days late, but it's the thought that counts, right?

John and I went for a carriage ride in Central Park.

I was the victim of a minor hit and run while driving someone else's car. (In all fairness, not sure that really deserves a spot on the "fun" list.)

We read The Cricket in Times Square for book club then found a caterpillar on the sidewalk near our house. I can see it now---The Caterpillar in Sutton Place: A Sophisticated Companion Volume for the Child in Every New Yorker.

Evelyn and Samuel grew up too fast.

We saw semi-blasphemous advertisements on the subway.

In other advertising news, the borderline pornographic and completely inappropriate advertisement for the Showtime series "Hung" that graced the corner by Evelyn's school for about 6 weeks is now gone. Thankfully.

Evelyn had a birthday. Because I am the funnest mom ever (if not the most diligent; see above), she got three parties (friend, family, school) and an iPod Touch.

In related news, Evelyn now has her first Barbies. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Also, Laurel visited for Evelyn's birthday and bought her presents at the Disney store.

Also, we went to Shake Shack and discovered that blurry Hyrum bears an eerie resemblance to Voldemort.

We went to Canada to visit John's parents (of whom we took no photos; fail).

I entertained my children with YouTube videos.

John rode an electric scooter.

I crashed an electric scooter. Luckily, I was wearing a helmet.

We played at the playground.

It was a worthwhile trip, which is saying a lot since it required our driving 16+ hours in less than three days.

So, that's pretty much it. Interspersed among calling my pediatrician and enjoying the hospitality of various doctor's office/hospital waiting rooms, I managed to orchestrate a pretty decent start to fall. Bring on Halloween!

Dear internet

Don't give up on us. We will be back soon. In the meantime and in no particular order, for the grandparents, please accept this random assortment of videos.

Love,
the Pretes