Backstory: For the past 10 days, I have enjoyed a rapidly progressing form of what I thought was hives. Originally, actually, I thought it was bug bites, and I cursed the mosquitos of Montreal. It quickly became clear this was something more when blotches started spreading over my back, shoulders, and chest. Perhaps I'm allergic to the hotel soap, I thought. When it kept getting worse days after I had returned home, I reconsidered. I tried to think of anything and everything that had changed about my soaping or eating habits and instituted a major reversion to 3 weeks ago. I packed away a brand new container of moisturizing body wash and threw out dozens of delicious sugar plums from my food coop. I even stopped wearing the new makeup I bought two weeks ago (although none of the blotches were on my face, I wasn't taking any chances). Basically, I made myself crazy trying to figure out what I was doing to cause my rapidly degenerating skin problem. As the situation progressed from worse to even worse, I finally made an appointment with my dermatologist.
In the meantime, Laurel came to town. Ever one to display my freak-show side, I immediately regaled her with a close-up of my stomach and shoulders. "Hmm, that's odd," she said.
A few minutes later: I'll be interested to see what your dermatologist says it is. I have a little theory.
Me: If you're right, is it dangerous?
Laurel: No.
Another few minutes later: So, what's your theory?
Laurel: [Blah blah blah medical term] It's basically a rash that starts on your trunk then spreads up your neck and eventually down your arms and legs. Usually it doesn't spread to the face.
Me: What causes it?
Laurel: They really don't know.
Me: How do you treat it?
Laurel: You don't. There's no treatment.
Laurel: And . . . it lasts about 6 to 8 weeks.
For some reason, I found this hilarious. In that way things are hilarious because they aren't funny at all and you can't believe you let yourself stress so much on a topic about which you could do so little. If she's right, I am going to let out a long string of crazed laughter as I go home to dig out all my discarded body washes while eating sugar plums until I can't stomache even one more.
9 comments:
Oh man, I do hope it's that easy!
Is the rash raised and itchy? Does it go away in some places and reemerge in others? Those are things I experienced when I had hives last fall. Never did figure out the cause.
I know that one! If it is what I'm thinking of, it is super common with peds patients and their parents are always freaking out because there is never a solid treatment... you just have to wait it out. I'm so sorry this happened to you! And btw, I so wish Evelyn and Sydney could play right now. I'd die laughing at their chatterbox conversations. I hope Evelyn drops "credit card" somewhere in there! :)
So what was it?
o do you have pityriasis rosea? did you have a herald patch (one large spot first)? interesting. maybe it's chronic urticaria - if you noticed it with bug bites at first. or maybe it's just syphilis...kidding. miss you! xoxo
I'm so sorry - I hate rashes. I have welts on my leg that I only hope are from mosquito bites but I get more each night and we have a real spider problem in the new house. But I don't want to think about what's attacking me in my sleep. Yuck. You'll have to let me know what it is.
i'm curious if it's the adult version of fifths disease. were your cheeks ever red, not rashed but red? odd. keep us informed
Just for the record, the death of your blog makes me so sad.
Wait, it's officially dead?
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