What we've been up to

Why, you ask, have I not been blogging? Well, in the past 2+ months, we've had

-5 calls to the pediatrician
-3 visits to the pediatrician
-1 ER visit
-1 urgent care visit
-1 visit to the plastic surgeon, and
-5 physical therapy appointments.

And thanks to our high-deductible health plan, we get to pay for all of it out of pocket. God bless America indeed. (Although I am fairly certain we have spent less than our taxes would/will increase with government-provided universal health care.)

I think my pediatrician thinks (a) I am crazy, (b) I never watch my children and/or (c) all of the above. After all, nothing inspires confidence in one's parenting skills like calling the pediatrician for the third time in a month and saying, "I think my preschooler just broke my toddler's nose with a pair of binoculars."

On our off days, we have managed to squeeze in a little fun.

We drove out to New Jersey to celebrate Poppa's birthday since he just happened to be in town (or 90 minutes away from in town). Two days late, but it's the thought that counts, right?

John and I went for a carriage ride in Central Park.

I was the victim of a minor hit and run while driving someone else's car. (In all fairness, not sure that really deserves a spot on the "fun" list.)

We read The Cricket in Times Square for book club then found a caterpillar on the sidewalk near our house. I can see it now---The Caterpillar in Sutton Place: A Sophisticated Companion Volume for the Child in Every New Yorker.

Evelyn and Samuel grew up too fast.

We saw semi-blasphemous advertisements on the subway.

In other advertising news, the borderline pornographic and completely inappropriate advertisement for the Showtime series "Hung" that graced the corner by Evelyn's school for about 6 weeks is now gone. Thankfully.

Evelyn had a birthday. Because I am the funnest mom ever (if not the most diligent; see above), she got three parties (friend, family, school) and an iPod Touch.

In related news, Evelyn now has her first Barbies. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Also, Laurel visited for Evelyn's birthday and bought her presents at the Disney store.

Also, we went to Shake Shack and discovered that blurry Hyrum bears an eerie resemblance to Voldemort.

We went to Canada to visit John's parents (of whom we took no photos; fail).

I entertained my children with YouTube videos.

John rode an electric scooter.

I crashed an electric scooter. Luckily, I was wearing a helmet.

We played at the playground.

It was a worthwhile trip, which is saying a lot since it required our driving 16+ hours in less than three days.

So, that's pretty much it. Interspersed among calling my pediatrician and enjoying the hospitality of various doctor's office/hospital waiting rooms, I managed to orchestrate a pretty decent start to fall. Bring on Halloween!

Dear internet

Don't give up on us. We will be back soon. In the meantime and in no particular order, for the grandparents, please accept this random assortment of videos.

Love,
the Pretes

It was only a matter of time

Is it strange that I am a little proud he knew to spill baking soda instead of, say, chili powder or salt?

Evelyn started school Thursday and I didn't even think about the fact that I probably should have taken a picture until I wrote this post. Perhaps I was distracted by another notable first from later that day: Hyrum's first visit to the ER. This came right after Hyrum's first visit to urgent care, during which the x-ray tech yelled at me and told me I was a bad mother because I "refused" to calm him down. Is it really that abnormal for an energetic 15-month-old boy to wail and thrash if you attempt to pin his arm to a table and keep his hand flat for an x-ray? Apparently so, since the ER also had no luck getting a clear image. They did refrain from telling me it was my fault, but I'm pretty sure they're also going to charge me three times what urgent care will, so maybe that's what the extra money gets you.

How to convince your husband to buy you a car without really trying

Congratulations, you are a city mom of at least two children! You have multiple strollers (at least as many strollers as children, but maybe more), and you're ready to go to the next level. Here's what you need to know.

First, your husband will never see the sense in buying you a car as long as you are taking the bus or walking to Costco, then shlepping everything home on the subway. All shlepping must now take place via cab or rental car/zipcar.

Second, make a list of everywhere you want to go within 5 hours of New York City. Then, go there. Simple enough, right? But what about that little voice? The little voice that insists, "It doesn't make sense to rent a car for two days over Labor Day weekend to go "hiking" in the Palisades Interstate Park (which is accessible by public transportation after all) and then to Montauk (which is technically also accessible by public transportation) just because you want to."

Ignore that voice. That voice is your enemy. Here's the thing. Now that you have multiple children, "accessible by public transportation" ("ABPT") is code for "you will never go here." Let me explain. Every time you plan a trip to an ABPT destination, you will feel guilty when you see how much the rental car costs. So, you will cancel the car, telling yourself, "We can just take public transportation." As the day approaches, you will realize two things: 1. Public transportation is not always cheap, monetarily speaking. 2. Actually, public transportation carries an extremely high price tag if you consider the time and parental energy required. As realization of these two facts dawns on you for the umpteenth time, you will yet again cancel your trip completely. Now is the time to break this cycle!

Third, when it rains ALL. DAY. LONG. on the day you planned to go to Montauk, make sure your husband knows how silly it is that you will now have to go to a beach destination in the pouring rain or waste the car (since you have to cancel zipcar 24 hours in advance of the reservation's start time). Then, go to Philadelphia instead. Make sure to spend more money in Philadelphia than you would have spent in Montauk. Reserve zipcar on a different day for your Montauk trip.

As an aside, if you go to Philadelphia in the pouring rain, it is nice to take a friend, especially if visibility on the way back is so bad you're going about 45 mph the entire way only to wait for 45 minutes at the Lincoln Tunnel. Also, you might want to check traffic before you commit to the Lincoln Tunnel over the GWB.

Fourth, and this is critical, let your husband share the joy of rental cars with children. Or more accurately, let him share the joy of carrying two car seats down to the car while also herding a 15 month old and a three year old. Put particular emphasis on the buzzer you will have to ring, the two doors you will have to open and shut, and the long walk, weaving through cars, from the door of the garage to the place where you actually pick up the car. Let him enjoy the experience of keeping said children and their car seats out of all the other cars' paths while waiting for your car to arrive. Watch from afar as he tries to wrestle two car seats into an unfamiliar car in which someone has always managed to hide half the seat belt parts while still corralling that 15 month old.

When you return from your trip, act like you do already have your own car. Unload your children, their stuff, and any relevant purchases, but leave the car seats behind. When he gets home say, "Honey, I couldn't get the car seats up with everything else. They're so heavy. Would you please go down and get them before you go into the office tomorrow?" Look weak and doe eyed. When he decides to leave the car seats overnight, wait until he's already a few minutes late for work the next morning before reminding him that he still needs to get the car seats.

Fifth, if it is raining, say, "Oh wow, it's really coming down out there! And it's always impossible to catch a cab in midtown in the rain. Too bad we don't have a car. I could drive you."

Note: Try to avoid bringing the car into any conversation in which you are angry or upset. For example, if your husband has to work on a holiday weekend, do NOT say something like, "One of these days, you will come home and I will have bought a car. Because if you're working this hard to put us ahead financially, and what I want is a car, then I should get to have a car." Acting childish will only hurt your cause.

I hope these tips have provided a helpful start to you in your quest to convince your husband to buy you a car. We'll let you know how it goes on our end.

Also, this is neither here nor there, but if you live within day-trip distance of Philadelphia, do your kids a favor and check out the Please Touch Museum. It was amazing.

We give it our highest rating: "Worth missing nap time for"

Ohio + Irene

Before Irene took up all our mental energy for a few days, we spent a week in Ohio welcoming Lawrence home from his mission.

But that was not all. Oh no. That was not all.

We also walked around naked outside

celebrated Uncle Lucien's birthday with sweet and salty cake and a birthday card Evelyn signed by herself (first time!),

visited the National Air Force Museum (on National Aviation Day/Orville Wright's birthday), where we toured a couple Air Force One planes, including the plane Kennedy took to (and from) Dallas, where LBJ took the oath of office,

visited the Topiary Garden,

tried to refresh Uncle Lawrence's admittedly never very extensive knowledge of proper child care. (Evelyn: Would you like to hold baby Hannah? Make sure you support her head!),

finally checked out COSI (children's museum), which we loved,

and took a walk or two.

We had an awesome time. But we missed John a lot. Luckily, the hurricane that wasn't pretty much shut down our town this weekend, giving us plenty of quality family napping time. No evacuations to the hallway or shattered windows, and we spent every minute of the weekend together. Win/win!

Be afraid, be very afraid

What is scarier than Hurricane Irene, you ask?



Hurricane Evelyn. All inside. All the time. For two days.