No, really

Yesterday, Evelyn decided to throw an enormous tantrum on the way home from school. We were approximately 15% of the way home when she started whining because her feet hurt. Well, get off your scooter and into the stroller and ride then, I logically replied. No, her feet hurt too much to stop whining but not enough to ride in the stroller. After about 1/2 a block of this (1/2 a block if you count this one day, several miles if you add up all the blocks over all the days on which this same thing has happened), I insisted that she get in the stroller.

She demurred. Loudly. So, I put Hyrum in the ergo and proceeded to tell her I would have to force her to get into the stroller if she did not get in herself. I counted. Finally, I strong armed her in, a long, arduous process. Every single person walking down the street stopped to ask if they could help. Let me just take the baby, they said, as Evelyn's wild thrashing nearly decapitated the helpless 6-month-old hanging practically upside down in the carrier while his mother persisted her attempts to force his sister into the stroller. That would be great, but I can't really hand him over seeing as how he's strapped to me and all. And who hands their baby to a complete stranger on the street then turns their back to deal with a toddler anyway, right? Probably not the best idea.

Not that the alternative was much better, mind you. We were a complete and utter spectacle, and several of those passersby probably think I am abusive, although thankfully none of them told me so.

Fast forward to school pickup today. Evelyn's teacher says, "I noticed a pretty bad welt on her forehead, but I don't think she got it here. I asked, and at first she said it happened at school but then she said she hit your knee?" I attempted to explain how Evelyn had run full-speed down the hall to flatten/hug me on her way out the door this morning, tripped a foot away from me, and fell forward into my knee. As I listened to myself, I realized this is the kind of stupid story people tell when they are hitting their kids. "She just ran into my knee. I swear!"

This makes the third bruise on her face. The picture doesn't do it justice really. She has a welt from this morning in the middle of her forehead and old bruises on her chin ("Anna Sue hit me at school today!") and on the right side of her forehead. Guess how she got that last one? She ran into a wall. Yeah, I know how it sounds.

As long as we're not into keeping up appearances anymore, I might as well admit that I parked my kids in front of Baby Einstein Monday while I watched back episodes of Modern Family online. Go ahead, judge. You won't be the only one.