Excerpts from a DTR

Late one night, the Prete family couch


Pretes: We need to have a talk


NYC: What is this? A talk? Are you breaking up with me?

Pretes: Not breaking up, no, but we do need to talk. We've been together for awhile now. Lately, though, it seems like things are getting a little stale. I mean, is this relationship going anywhere?


NYC: What do you mean?

Pretes: Some things, you're great at. You're fun, cute, a good city to impress my friends with, but when it comes to other things, you really fall short. Particularly, you're always trying to get me to spend more than I can afford. Everything costs too much, and not just the good things. Even things that are no brainers other places - a (rental) car (nevermind an actual car). Preschool. A babysitter. Decent produce. And don't even try to tell me "I know this place . . ." If I have to add one more place to my register that requires me to carry 40+ pounds of stroller and toddler on and off a bus or subway (trailing off)

NYC: I don't think you're giving me enough credit. Have you checked out Time Out New York lately? There is tons of free fun, everywhere, all the time. What about Central Park? What about a free community pool right around the corner from your apartment? What about the dozens of playgrounds?

Pretes: I'll ignore for now the question of whether anything is "free" when it's paid for with income taxes of over 10% and growing, but haven't you ever heard of a back yard? And don't even get me started on rainy days. Or cold days. Which, come to think of it, are pretty much the only kinds of days we've had in the last 6 months. I could create Neverland meets Disneyland meets Chuck E. Cheese in my basement and entertain the whole neighborhood for less than what I would pay for one child to belong to a decent indoor playspace for a year or two. Face it, you're high-maintenance.




NYC: So are you.




Pretes: I want things to work out between us. I really do, but I have needs, and I can't just put them aside to fit into a mold that pleases you. I need space. I need free time and means to pursue my interests. I need support from you, not just the other way around. I want a large family, and I'm not sure how you're going to handle it. I mean, do I really want to raise kids with you? I don't know.




NYC: No relationship is perfect. No one place can have it all. We both know I'm not the cookie cutter choice. Our path together isn't going to be easy. But are you really ready to throw it all away? I think, deep down, easy isn't what you want. You're easily bored. Convenience isn't everything, you know.


Pretes: I guess what I really need to know is: Are you willing to work to make things better between us? Do you expect me to do all the adjusting, or are you willing to change, too? Will my sacrifices start paying off one of these days? Where do you see us in 5 years? 10?


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As is typical 0f DTRs, the conversation did nothing to resolve the differences between the parties, but no one wanted to break up, so they stayed together anyway.